Ejection

“Mr. Caswell.”

Shit. “Yes, sir.”

“Do you agree with Ms. O'Brien's assertion that the third exception to The Rule”---you can hear the capital letters---“was intended to allow case agents to remain in the courtroom?”

Shit shit. I have no idea. Case agents? Or is that the second exception? Maybe it's the fourth exception.

“Mr. Caswell, are you with us?”

“Yes, sir. I---I think I agree with Ms. O'Brien---to a certain extent---”

“To what extent?”

Shit shit shit shit. Why can I only think of four-letter words? Why can't I think about the third exception to The Rule? Why don't I highlight my reading?

“Well, sir, I, uh, I believe the third exception was, uh, was intended to allow the presence of certain witnesses---”

“Yes, we all know that, Mr. Caswell. What witnesses?”

“Uh, witnesses who are essential to the presentation of the case . . .” That's all I've got. I know I'm just repeating the rule. He knows I'm just repeating the rule. Shit shit. There's a pause. Maybe he's bored with me---

“Mr. Caswell. The whole prospect of this conversation---some might call it a monologue---is to ascertain what the drafters meant when they said 'witnesses essential to the presentation of the case'. Do you have any productive thoughts on that topic?”

He's just berating me now. I can take this. I'm in my third year of law school. I have self-confidence. “The drafters were referring to, uh, witnesses like case agents in the, uh, second exception---”

“Yes, Mr. Caswell, Ms. O'Brien has already established that. We've moved on to the third exception. Do you think---as Ms. O'Brien seems to---that the drafters would write up two exceptions that both allowed the presence of the same witnesses?”

“No, sir---”

“Because that's absurd. Do you think the drafters were absurd?”

“No, sir---”

“Then why don't you tell me whose presence is allowed in the courtroom under the third exception?”

Shit. “The third exception lets those witnesses who are essential to the presentation of the case remain in the courtroom during the testimony given by other witnesses . . .”

“Mr. Caswell, this is not a reading class. I believe that your ninety-three classmates have been reading for at least twenty years by now. Do you think your classmates don't know how to read?”

“No, sir, I---”

“Then Mr. Caswell, I suggest you expound on your thoughts as to what witnesses are essential to the presentation of the case.”

Shit. A big fat nothing stares up at me from my books. I read something about this last night. Cops are in the second exception; victims are in the fourth. But what the heck is the third exception? Maybe page 87---

“Mr. Caswell?”

“Yes, sir.” No no---not 87, 94---

“Whose presence is allowed under the third exception to The Rule?”

Maybe it's page 82. No no. Maybe it's not even in this book. Was it in a case? C'mon c'mon c'mon---shit shit shit---

“Mr. Caswell?”

“Yes, sir, uh, the third exception allows the presence of . . .”

“Yes?”

shit shit shit shit

“Have you read the advisory comments to Rule 615?”

Shit. “Yes, sir.”

“All of them?”

Shit shit. “Yes, sir.”

“What about the second paragraph?”

Shit. Why don't I highlight? “Yes, sir.”

“Then why don't you know the answer to my question?”

Stop. You don't own me. There are people at home who love me and who think I'm a pretty smart kid. They think I'll be an excellent lawy---

“Mr. Caswell, you didn't come to class without being thoroughly prepared, did you? Because if you did, then perhaps it'd be in your interest---really ours---if you stopped wasting everybody's time.”

“I prepared, sir---”

“If you prepared, Mr. Caswell, then why don't you know whose presence is allowed under the third exception to The Rule? It seems a pretty basic proposition to me.”

Yeah, if you've been teaching evidence since before King John signed the Magna Carta.

“Mr. Caswell, I'd like you to do the class a favor. You see, there's some ambiguity in the case law about the third exception, and I'd like you to sort it out for the class. Write a memo noting each circuit's stance on the third exception, as well as any definitive case law out of the Supreme Court, if there is any. If any states have any special rules, I think your colleagues would benefit from that as well. Now, I recognize that this is a pretty big question of law. So instead of the usual twenty-four hours, you have forty-eight. I'd like your memo on my desk no later than Friday morning.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And Mr. Caswell? I believe there's a cup of coffee waiting for you in the student lounge.”

Shit . . .

“Now, Ms. O'Brien, as we were saying . . .”